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Reasons Behind Destruction

Recovery from Eating Disorders, Psychological Disorders, and Abuse

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There are many reasons we destroy ourselves with Eating Disorders and behavior we otherwise would not do. This page will explain a few of the main reasons we feel compelled to harm ourselves this way.

Below is a short quiz to make you aware of the problems related to Eating Disorder destruction.
  1. Do you need food to live?
  2. Does your pain go away once you binge and purge?
  3. Will the cycle break if you aren't honest with yourself?
  4. Can serious medical problems occur from these diseases?
  5. Who are you really trying to be beautiful for?
  6. Will people love you any less if you are not "perfect"?
  7. Are those people perfect?
  8. Don't you love them for who they are and how they treat you rather than how they look?
  9. Do you love yourself?
  10. Do you want to heal?

If you have identified with even one of these questions it is time to make a change and take the first step to heal. Please continue to read further and see if any of the following situations you may in some way relate to.


  • Sometimes the hardest things to get over in life are sexual, physical and psychological abuse. The control factor is what dominates you because as the victim you feel you have no control. The fear of talking to someone may incur more problems to face than you are ready or capable of handling so we allow the abuse to continue. In reality, we are allowing others to destroy us even though we may not have the effects at that moment.
  • We tend to make ourselves out to be living in a nightmare or dreamland which doesn't exist in reality and we are able to escape it if we just put this trauma to a place no one knows about but us. The reality is that it will build and one day hit us harder than it would if we would have faced it at the time of the abuse.
  • We begin eating all we want knowing if we immediately get rid of the food we won't gain the weight. We feel satisfied that we have the willpower to eat all we want and never gain an ounce.
  • We exercise so excessively that we suddenly feel able to run marathons and on top of the world able to win any event we choose athletically. The reality is eventually our bodies will be destroyed from malnutrition, bone depletion, calcium deposits, fatigue, broken bones and weakened joints.
  • We begin restricting food knowing this is the only way to be sure we will not have to do the disgusting habit of purging or laxatives to ensure nothing stays inside us. The reality is we will dehydrate, end up in the hospital on feeding tubes and eventually the graveyard will be our bed we sleep in endlessly.
  • We try taking laxatives, suppositories, enemas, diuretics, diet pills, ephedra and other harmful herbs and toxins into our bodies to eliminate how much will stay in our bodies. This way we can eat but we know that a major portion of the food if not all will come out eventually and we will not gain weight. The reality is we ruin our stomachs, irritable bowel syndrome, our intestines are destroyed, ulcers, bleeding, irregular periods, not to mention no periods begin to happen. In some of the worst cases we find a colostomy is required. Wearing a bag to have our bile in when we use the bathroom because we have destroyed our colon to a point there is no cure for.
  • We grow up as girls knowing we will someday be able to have children because we all know men cannot have babies only women can. The reality is doing all of the above sources for weight loss and maintenance does sometimes lead to another serious ailment. Infertility. The inability to conceive or carry a child and bring such a miraculous being into this world. It is one of the scariest thoughts for women today. We play with baby dolls and we are the mommies when we are young only to grow and find real babies are not going to be in our future naturally.
  • Adoption is always a possibility for the women who do not have the ability to have children naturally.The reality is not only is it very hard to achieve, expensive, risky and let's face it some men don't even want to accept it because they want their name to be carried on in blood. I am one of the lucky ones to have a man who is beside me through this ordeal and someway even if it ends up being invitro or adoption we will have children. I have been diagnosed with Endometriosis and am having my second surgery on September 23, 2003 to hopefully correct this problem.
  • To say that I am okay with this would be a lie, but I will give my life trying to conceive and give birth to a child. That is my only dream that I could want in this world other than being able to do what I am doing now, which is helping others. It is a wonderful feeling and accomplishment to know you are doing something for the good of others. 
  • There are many other reasons we feel as if we should lose weight. For someone of the opposite sex, our parents, to do acting and modeling, to look like a famous celebrity, for a wedding, dance, special birthday or event and millions of other reasons to name. The reality is if we were all supposed to be designed and built the same way we would have been. The most important thing we can do to improve ourselves is love ourselves first and foremost and then love each other for who we are not how we look or what society portrays perfection to be. Take a moment to face the facts, we are Dying to be someone we are not now or ever going to be. Please stop this insanity and heal.
  • It is great if you want to shape up, tone, or even lose a few pounds, but to go to the extreme and obsess over your weight is a terrible and deadly thing to do. Trust me I have been doing it for twenty-two years and I am still recovering everyday trying to change my habits of eating, exercising and being able to look in the mirror and love myself for who I am.
  • The important thing now is that I am doing this and you can too. You have the strength and courage within youself. Please make yourself happy before you try to make others, because believe it or not those you feel you are doing this for are the ones who will support you when no one else will and also love you just the way you are. I have learned and continue to learn this on a daily basis. It is a wonderful feeling to be loved, and unconditional love is what we all need not superficial love. Those who choose to love you based on how you look, what you have or how you act are those you need not bother having in your life.

Take a look at someone else who you know has a much harder life than you whether it be financially, emotionally, medically or otherwise and answer one question....

How much courage does it take for them to be as strong and full of life as they are to overcome their problems. They awake everyday knowing their lives may never change as we all do, but they somehow still have the courage to say Thank You for yet another day and make us wish we had their strength. Guess what? We do.  


In example: Children with Cancer, The Homeless, Sufferers of Blindness, Deafness, AIDS and so many other deadly diseases and conditions.

We starve ourselves or waste food purging while others are starving because of the lack of recources for food and healthcare. Are we really being FAIR?

If you have children now or plan to in the future, will you love your children any less if they are not what you want them to be? Will this cycle we battle in our lives carry on to them? I pray this doesn't happen because while it is wonderful to make sure our children of tomorrow eat healthy and grow to be beautiful, isn't it more important that they know they are beautiful from within and that this beauty they hold will shine through to the outer beauty as well. I know the answer is yes so please learn to heal before it is too late. It would be a tragedy to lose anymore victims to these terrible disorders.


Heal for yourself first then help others heal that is the only way we can fight these destroying factors in our lives of Eating Disorders and Abuse. The control ends the moment we let go of our pain and control ourselves and our feelings in a positive manner. I believe in you and others do too, now it is time to finally believe in yourself. Take the willpower inside your soul to slay the dragon you have been so consumed by all this time.